Split Housework and the Mental Load Fairly

Sound familiar?

Two worlds under one roof. Neither of you can see into the other.

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The one who keeps the household running in their head

Kitchen, laundry, meals, tidying — round and round. It's never done.
It's all in my head. If I forget something, it's my fault.
When I say it out loud, it turns into an argument.

visibility_off

The one who keeps the things nobody notices until they stop working

Insurance, servicing, deadlines, decisions. I carry it so nobody else has to.
The insurance “just” gets paid. The car “just” runs. As if it happened by itself.
I try to help and it still isn't enough.

You're both telling the truth. The problem isn't that one of you does too little — it's that neither of you can see the other half.

See where you stand in 3 minutes

Why it happens

Four things that explain it — and most couples never name them

This isn't about laziness or personality. These are mechanisms at work in every household.

route

Every task has three phases: noticing → deciding → doing

When someone “takes over” a task, they usually take over only the doing. Noticing and deciding stay with the same person — and that's the part you can't switch off.

hub

One person becomes the household's control tower

It's called the default parent. Every question, every deadline, every “did we forget to…” routes through them. Not because anyone asked — it just happened.

visibility

You see all of your own work. The other person's only when it happens in front of you

It's called availability bias. That's why when you both estimate your share, the total comes to well over 100 %. And you're both being honest.

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There's a world of difference between “helping” and “owning”

“Just tell me what to do” doesn't reduce the work — it moves it. While you wait to be told, the list still lives in one head.

The three phases of a task come from Allison Daminger's research (2019). Availability bias was described by Ross and Sicoly back in 1979.

routeHow it gets onto paper

From one head onto one shared page

Three steps. Nothing to invent — the app asks, and works out the rest.

You write down what actually happens at your place

Add members and tasks — pick from over 150 ready-made templates, so you're not starting from a blank page. Including the things that were never written down anywhere.

The app weighs it, it doesn't just count it

Each task is scored on time, mental load, criticality and how easily someone else can take it over. That's why doing the dishes and planning a holiday don't weigh the same.

You both see the Fairness Index

One number instead of two feelings. Not a verdict — a map you can finally look at together.

Add your household

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Family members

Mom

Dad

Lucia

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Add

Tasks from templates

local_laundry_service

Washing dishes

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shopping_cart

Grocery shopping

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cleaning_services

Vacuuming the living room

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Measure the load

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countertops

Tidy the kitchen

daily task

8.4

WEIGHT

Physical· medium

Mental· high

What the load is made of

Planning72%

Criticality58%

Substitutability34%

Fairness index

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balance

86/100

Fairness index · almost balanced

Mom · 54%Dad · 46%

Lucia

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It isn't another to-do list

It's a map of your household — who carries what, how much it weighs, and where it can move.

balance

Fair workload split

We measure everyone's physical and mental load and show a fairness index — see in black and white whether your household is balanced. Burnout prevention built in.

stars

Star economy

Motivate kids through a virtual currency. Earn stars for completed tasks and exchange them for real rewards according to your family rules.

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Secure household

Your household's data is strictly separated from everyone else's, and sensitive settings are protected by a parental PIN.

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Smart onboarding

Fast setup thanks to ready-made task templates tailored to children's ages and household size.

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“Good enough” isn't losing

For each task you agree on a minimum standard of care — what “done” actually means. Once the floor is clear, the quiet redoing of each other's work stops. Pizza with a cucumber on the side is dinner too.

Read about the quiet war over standards

Accessible to everyone

Accessibility · EAA

High contrast for low vision, adjustable text size, dark mode, keyboard navigation and reduced-motion support — designed with the European Accessibility Act (EAA) in mind.

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swipeKids

Kids don't need orders. They need to know what's theirs

When a child has an age-appropriate task and can see it themselves, they stop waiting to be reminded. Stars are the fuel — ownership is the point.

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Swipe = done

One task at a time as a card. Right to complete, left to leave for later. No scanning a list.

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Confetti and stars

Every completion rewards you with confetti, a star and a gentle buzz. Progress and streak are visible.

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For kids and phones

Big cards and one simple gesture — even a younger child can do it. Great on a wall tablet or in your pocket.

Try it in the app

Tidying up as a game

Kids earn stars for every toy they put away. Once they reach the goal, a family movie night or a favorite treat awaits.

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Choose your plan

Transparent pricing with no hidden fees. One price for the whole family, no matter how many members.

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Premium

Everything unlocked

Intro price until 31 Aug 2026 · then €19.99

€9.99/ year

✓ save 16%≈ €0.83 per month

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Intro price until 31 Aug 2026 · then €49.99

€24.99

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Subscriptions started during the intro period keep this price even after prices increase — for as long as you stay subscribed.

01How do stars work?

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Stars are a virtual currency that parents award for completed tasks. You decide their value and the rewards yourself in your household settings.

02Is my child safe?

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Yes. Your data is isolated and sensitive settings are protected by a parental PIN.

03What is mental load and how do you measure it?

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Mental load is the invisible work — planning, reminding, coordinating. FFP scores it by each task's difficulty, criticality and how replaceable it is, and counts it into the fairness index — not just the time spent doing chores.

04What if my partner won't use the app?

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Start on your own — you enter the tasks and the load once, and the Fairness Index shows the real split. It works best when your partner looks too, which is why the page has a section written for them and a live demo with no sign-up. They don't have to set anything up; looking is enough.

05What's free and what's Premium?

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Free gives you 4 members, 20 tasks and kiosk mode forever. Premium (from €0.99/mo) unlocks unlimited members and tasks, analytics, exports and notifications — one price for the whole household, not per person.

06How do I cancel my subscription?

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Anytime in the app: Settings → Premium → Manage subscription (Stripe portal). Your plan runs until the end of the paid period and is not charged again. The lifetime licence never renews — you pay once.

07How do I delete my account and all data?

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Right in the app: Settings → Privacy & data → Delete household. Deletion is immediate and irreversible — it removes data and member accounts and cancels any active subscription (GDPR Art. 17). You can download a data export first.

08How do kids use the app?

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Through kiosk mode on a tablet or phone: a child picks their avatar, ticks off a finished task and sees their stars right away. Their own PIN protects their profile, and a parent PIN protects settings and analytics.

09How do I use the app? Is there a manual?

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You won't need to look for one — the app has its own built-in guide on every screen, walking you step by step through what it does and how to use it.

10How do I install the app on my phone?

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Family Fair Play isn't in the app stores — it's a web app you add to your home screen straight from the browser. On iPhone in Safari via Share → Add to Home Screen; on Android in Chrome via Install app. On iPhone this is also required for notifications to work. See the article "How to add the app to your phone's home screen" for the full steps.

11Can I try the app without signing up?

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Yes. Click “Live demo” to open a fully-loaded sample household instantly — no email or password needed. It's read-only, so you can look around freely without breaking anything. When you're ready to make changes, create your own household: it starts pre-filled too, so there's nothing tedious to set up.

12Won't the app just tell me I was right all along?

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No. It measures both sides — physical time and mental load — and it often shows exactly what you weren't expecting. It isn't a judge. It's a mirror for both of you.

You're both overwhelmed. And you're both right.

Sound familiar?

The one who keeps the household running in their head

The one who keeps the things nobody notices until they stop working

Four things that explain it — and most couples never name them

Every task has three phases: noticing → deciding → doing

One person becomes the household's control tower

You see all of your own work. The other person's only when it happens in front of you

There's a world of difference between “helping” and “owning”

From one head onto one shared page

You write down what actually happens at your place

The app weighs it, it doesn't just count it

You both see the Fairness Index

This isn't a list of accusations

You set the weights together

Your invisible work shows up too

You don't have to promise anything

It isn't another to-do list

Fair workload split

Star economy

Secure household

Smart onboarding

“Good enough” isn't losing

Accessible to everyone

Kids don't need orders. They need to know what's theirs

Swipe = done

Confetti and stars

For kids and phones

Tidying up as a game

Control the app with an AI agent

First 10 families completely free

Choose your plan

Basic

Premium

Forever

Frequently asked questions

Transparency first

Articles and tips

Peace of mind isn't a luxury: when your body sleeps and your mind keeps working

Don't argue about who does more. That's an argument you can't win.